Tag: collaredexperimentation

collaredexperimentation:

I…. I’ll try..

-He said, hiccuping again, and let both his shaky hand go up to try whiping her tears away too. And his eyes trail downwards, as he eased to a point his toes were starting to curl, and his ears softly flicked to the bells rings.

Sweet humming that soothed those welled up emotions in him. Making his thoughts slow down a pace, Much like his anti-depressants did. Causing a strange relaxation.

He never really made promises. Too fragile for him to break.

The only promises he allowed himself were ones with Clyde and Angel really.-

I… It’ll be okay then… I think….

-Hiccup-

“As long as you’ll try.”

Rebecca pulled away for a moment to carefully tie the Soothe Bell to the other’s collar. He needed it more right now. She could always find another.

“In that case, this will be for you. Alright? All yours.”

She gently moved it, causing another soft chiming as she wiped his tears away. She had no idea why she felt like helping this one so much. He felt familiar to her in a way she couldn’t place.

collaredexperimentation:

-His ears fell further, allowing her to touch as she pleased. His ears softly flicking to the bell. Not really knowing what it was, or why it made such a nice noise..

A noise that he only heard Maria’s voice singing in, oh so much more Clearly that when he listened to the wind blow outside the window.

Tears simply flooded more. He didn’t dare speak. Didn’t dare to utter a word to break the noise.

Even as she poke, he could hear Maria humming the tune she loved to sing to him. Fingers softly twitching, and his arms going limp. Falling to his sides as she moved and spoke.

The words were settling in his mind.

Though only chunks.

ears softly flicking to Listen.

Tears flowing down like waterfalls, and a small choke.-

It Hurts..

-He said simply. A hand slowly going up to cover his own mouth. Though. The bell worked. He couldn’t Help how he expressed it. He couldn’t Think of anything else. He couldn’t Say anything else.

It worked fairly well. Considering he Actually Admitted that.

Those two words he’s only said to Clyde once.

And reflected his own feelings to Healing Mentally.-

“It’ll hurt a lot at first… That just means your heart is healing. It’ll leave scars… but those are what make each of us who we are.”

Rebecca simply chimed the Soothe Bell for him, holding him warmly with both arms.

“Just please… Make a future with them. Make a bright future. You deserve nothing less. Be happy for yourself and for the ones you love.”

A gentle thumb wiped at the flowing tears, some of her own falling down her cheeks.

“It’ll be okay. But only if you want it to be okay.”

collaredexperimentation:

 I Am… I Am I Am I Am.

-He hiccuped, as tears began to flood his muzzle, pupils shrunk within his iris’s as his breath became shorter, and less noticeable than it was before-

I’m..

I’m a Doll. I’m a Doll. I’m Only Here for Pleasure. Only here to Do as my Owner Pleases. Only here to make Children. Only here to Feel people. Only here to Soak them in for who they are. Only here to hear they’re praise. Only here to think how I think. Only here to Be here.

I have always lived like this.

I don’t See Why I need to change.

I don’t See Why I can’t Continued living like This.

He’s here for me, He’s Always here for me. He said he would be. H-he said so!

-His voice was starting to give out, fingers weakly clenching, and the urge to wipe his own face came.-

Th-Those people were Mean..

But that doesn’t Change anything

I may Have feelings

But that doesn’t Change anything

That doesn’t Prove anything

That doesn’t Say Anything about me.

I’m a Doll

I’m a Doll with Rips and Tears

I don’t Need to be told otherwise

I don’t Want to be told otherwise

I Want to Stay a doll

I Want to Keep being what I am for My own decisions

I want to be Clydes Doll

I want to be Angels Doll

And Only Theirs

Only Their doll

only…

theirs…..

-His voice fade out, cracking away as tears fell freely, and a small hitched breath, he was Sad.

Sad that he turned out like this.

Sad he was such a disgrace to Maria’s memory.. Though, That’s why he doesn’t Go by Shadow anymore. That’s why he’s Heat. He’s Shameful. Too Shameful for the name she gave him. Too Changed from What he was. Too Attached. Too emotionally Weak. Too useless without his pills to keep himself Mellow.

But he took himself off.

Even with them, he thought he was useless.

It seemed, he was a lost cause on this subject-

Without a word, Rebecca took out her Soothe Bell again, still holding the other as it softly chimed. It was another few minutes before she finally spoke again, the bell still chiming.

“If this Angel and Clyde care about you, then by all means, be theirs. Just… please don’t think of yourself as being owned by horrible people… That just gives them power over you…

Be with the ones you love, if that makes you happy. Be with the ones you truly love with all your heart.”

Another soft chime of the bell and gentle hand made it’s way to cup the other’s face.

“Make a future with the ones you love. Create your own purpose. If you want to please, please those who truly deserve it. Not those who are forced upon you. I know you have strength inside you. Use it to protect them.”

collaredexperimentation:

You Don’t Understand.

-He said simply, Fur standing on end with the hug, loosely hanging in it, until he allowed his limbs to Work. Wrapping back around her, much like a Doll.

A living Doll. With a shallow warm breath, and small twitches from his body before he slowly relaxed-

I am Not a person. And being one is a Horrid thing because I don’t Want to Leave. I don’t Want to never see my owners again. I Don’t Care that it’s wrong how they taught me. It’s Right to me. It’s Fine to me. I let myself into this. I did this to myself.

I don’t Care what you, or anyone else think. This is How I live. This is the only way I know How to live. I’m Too Used to it. I don’t Want to leave. I don’t Want to Hear it. I don’t Want to See it. This is how I was raised. This is how I will Live. And this is How I will Die.

How Dare you say that about Her.

How Dare you say that about someone I Love Rebecca, I was Taught to be Nice. I was Taught to Take things Given to me Gratefully. Take even the worst things, and allow them to slide. Take in what I’m told, Learn what I can even where I am.

She’s Dead anyway.

She’s Up in Heaven where She belongs.

She’s Finally Got her Wings. And I don’t Care what you have to say about How She raised me, She Raised me Right.

Don’t Ever Talk about her like that.

She’s an Angel.

And I Don’t Appreciate you saying such Degrading things about Her. Don’t Ruin my Virgin Ears, Like my Body. Don’t Speak Badly of Her.

This is All I ask.

-He said, using a strangely Firm tone. As if he were going to claw eyes out if she did it again-

This is all I ask of Anyone. Of Them, Of the People who Own me. And Of You. Don’t Ever speak of Her in such Vile ways.

Please Stop.

I am Owned.

I was Paid for.

I was Taken in, and given Food, Shelter, and a Family here.

Even If I lost part of it.

Even though to You, I’m a Person.

To Me I am a Doll, Just like Bonnie and Amy are.

Only Bonnie refuses.

Only Bonnie is a Rebel.

Only Bonnie is full of Hate for Them Now…

“I’m talking about the person who drilled it into your head that you were an object! That is a horrible person and they should be ashamed of themselves!”

“I don’t blame this Bonnie person, I’d hate them too. Whoever treated you like an object is a horrible being.”

The retired champion of Unova gently squeezed the other in the hug, her Soothe Bell softly chiming in her bag. The chime calmed her as it always did and she softly rested her cheek on his head.

“I’m sure whoever this ‘Her’ was a kind person. I just need you to know that you’re not an object… Please. Just think about it. It’s wrong to teach anyone that. You’re not a doll. You have feelings and thoughts just like anyone else.”

“If you feel anger, sadness, happiness, love…. You’re not a doll.”

collaredexperimentation:

 -Nervous sweating, mostly from not understanding what sedative, ether, or chloroform was.

Also hinting that sedative was injected easily made his fur stand on end, and his fingers twitch-

NO SYRINGES

-Was shrieked, pupils dilating and a small amount of shaking. Being one of his triggers he didn’t like the mention at all. Though he tried to bring himself back, the corner of his lips twitching as the topic was changed, ever so slightly away from that small mentioning.-

Uh…

I hate to tell you this?

It’s completely Legal in my zone. It’s Not called anything other than assault on private property, I’m an Object here and I am to be seen as Such. At most its like he punched a vase and only left a small crack in it.

That rule doesn’t Apply where I live. And I have No complaints to it, nor do i have any right to speak up for my behalf, which I do not want to do in the first place.

He was the one to Punch. And my Friend, Out of rage was after Him, Though I tried to stop here and resulted in scratches.

It’s nothing.

And you can think of me being a torn shirt if you want. I really don’t mind.

“And I hate to tell you this but as long as you’re a living, breathing being, it’s called assault and it’s illegal. No matter what ‘zone’ you’re in. I don’t care what kind of world you’re from, if you have independent thought, then you’re not an object.”

Now Rebecca was starting to look very worried, putting a gentle hand on top of Heat’s head.

“And this is coming from the girl who has a floating snowflake as a friend. If you were an object, you would not be talking, breathing or have a pulse.”

collaredexperimentation:

I’m…

Not quite sure about that honestly. I don’t know what drugged is. And I don’t really know, I’d have to ask the person I had a chance of sleeping with..

I feel kind of bad that I don’t remember if I actually did..

I bet he felt nice.

Anyway, the person who punched me didn’t like me in the first place so I’m really not that surprised, or bothered by the fact.

-He say’s, fingers twitching to scratches getting irritated as he rubbed his other arm. His mind worked fairly quickly-

“Drugged is when you’re injected with a sedative or get a cloth put over your mouth with ether or chloroform.”

Rebecca let out an annoyed huff, adjusting her headphones.

“That’s not a justifiable reason for them to punch you, hun. That is called aggravated assault and it’s illegal.”

collaredexperimentation:

 Mnf…

I slept with someone I shouldn’t have and I got punched.

-Neglecting to mention he was actually beaten and has bruises and scratches all over him. Covered by fur.
but hey, it saved some of that.. Strange liquid for her. and, quite frankly he didn’t like it.

He didn’t like that bottle even though it made him feel a bit better.-

I don’t really remember sleeping with that person, which is a bit Odd…

But that’s why.

“Wha-”

Rebecca’s mind worked quickly before coming up with a possible answer, putting away the half-full Full Restore.

“The only reasons I can think of are that you didn’t sleep with that person at all or you were drugged. And considering how you’re acting, I’m leaning towards the former as the answer.”

Punched for a false accusation? It was certainly within some people’s ability to do so.

collaredexperimentation:

Ssst-

-He hissed in surprise, a spritz, and the world came tumbling down for a moment for him. Mind going numb in thought, and any pain disappearing rather too quickly for his liking.

His eyes shut for a moment, the bruise dulling down quite obviously, and the scratches seemed to go away in that moment, red marks leaving his muzzle, and he gave a sigh.

Opening his eyes again, only the once black was now like the other, Only the iris was a darker red. Mismatched eyes shimmering lightly for a moment, as he blinked a few times.

It disappeared.

He didn’t quite understand why it disappeared.

Staring to her and giving a small nod-

Y-yeah.. Thank you Rebecca….

“Good. You’re welcome.”

A gentle hand reached up and softly touched the other’s muzzle. Now there was obvious concern in her eyes.

“What did that to you? You looked like you were run over by a Ryhorn.”

collaredexperimentation:

Just.. Don’t Stare at it then.

-In which he whined at her, before letting his hand fall from the side of his face, revealing a prominent black eye. Eyelid lowered almost covering the whole thing, the white of it a dull red, and the iris darker than the other sides. An obvious bruising even through his black fur, and showing a bit on his muzzle underneath. And a few sets of small scratches on his cheek, though there were more bruises and scratches over him they were for the most part covered by fur on his arms, legs, and his body in general. Ears flat and shifting a bit.-

“I won’t.”

Rebecca took a single look at it and inwardly winced before complying, fixing her eyes on his muzzle instead to make her job easier. She lifted the little bottle and gently sprayed a fine mist over the black eye. The mist would instantaneously soak into the other’s skin and dry quickly, working to heal him. She gave small spritzes to the other visible scratches and bruises.

“There. Feel better?”